12:09:00 AM

Ever reached a point in your life when you feel everything just isn't going the way you want it to?

Granted, life isn't always a rainbow. 

I'm a pessimistic person, and I can't seems to get out of it.
As much as I want to be a happier person, but my stubbornness gets in the way EVERY SINGLE TIME,
 Here I am, idling (studying) in Starbucks alone and drowning myself with Incubus- Drive (best music ever... especially when you just need something to calm you down) and reflecting on what happened today.
Supposedly, it's a small issue, but because of all the hatred I've bottomed into my heart. Everything she does irks me.

Maybe I'm spoilt, I am used to things going my way.
Maybe I just need to open up my heart (As advised by Aaron).
Maybe I just need to be more optimistic.
But it's so hard. I am so angry, upset and unhappy.

I'm venting my unhappiness on everyone around me, I am hurting everyone because I am upset. I am saying things I don't really mean to turn people off on purpose. 
That's just selfish and wrong.
I know that but I'm still doing it. Why?

I can't comprehend to my own emotions and mentality..
Maybe I need help.

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