All alone

8:14:00 AM

A week since Aaron flew off to Australia. And the days are getting harder to pass by. Everyone advised me to believe in our relationship but no one warned me how painful the process would be.

I told myself I can go through with this and everything will be okay.
But it's not okay. I feel so empty right now..
The thing is, there's nothing I can do but to accept it. I miss him so much. I miss his presence.  And there's nothing I can do to change that..
What hurts the most is not me missing him but the fact that I can't do anything about it. That empty feeling just wouldn't go away. Maybe this is a phase that I am going through,  I am trying very hard to adapt to it.

Aaron has been putting in so much effort to make our relationship work however a part of me seems to have shut off. I felt so depressed recently and I don't know what I can do to fix my problems that I chose to run away from it. I started avoiding any contact with him, I spent my day sleeping, I came up with excuses to not Skype with him, I was mean and cold towards him.

Despite knowing that he is probably going through a harder time since he is all alone. I chose to be selfish towards him. Yet Aaron chose to stay, he assured me that he is committed to make our relationship work. 

Thank you for your determination and sincerity.  

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